The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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