My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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