pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
