my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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