OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
