i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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