exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
