Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
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