She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize