Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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