i would punch a child for taco bell
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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