I wish I only lived at night.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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