Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
