apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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