I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
