YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize