this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
