I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
