SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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