just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
