That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
