I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
