kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize