Christians are straight up FREAKS
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
