you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
