How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
