Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
