I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
