I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
