It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
