but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
