my sisters under your porch take her home
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
