is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
