Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
