so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
