Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
