Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
