But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
