i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
