Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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