I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
