be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
even my farts smell like vagina
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
