Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
should my penis look like a turkey
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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