If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
pop tarts are not kleenex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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