Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
