I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
