I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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