In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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