is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
