i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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