high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
