The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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