There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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