At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
