Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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