I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
