I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
