I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
