oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
