For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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