someone threw a dead crab at me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
