I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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